Remembering Brenda July 6, 1970-April 14, 2007

So far, this blog has mainly described my insane training regimen as a member of the IronTeam. But it has also highlighted some athletic accomplishments that never in a million years I thought I would ever achieve. Swimming in open water in 50 degree weather, riding my bike up Mt. Diablo, doing as many sprint triathlons as I can in a 5 hour span---who knew?

There are several motivating factors for this madness, but the two that come to the fore front are honoring the individuals dealing with cancer and raising money to cure cancer. Such an individual was Brenda Donato, who died 3 years ago today from complications of graft v. host disease.

I first met Brenda during my first season with Team In Training in 2005. In February 2005, Brenda was diagnosed with acute myeloid leukemia and spent 3 months in the hospital before receiving an antologous stem cell transplant (meaning her own stem cells). Shortly after leaving the hospital, Brenda became involved with TNT and started training for various events. Brenda was a strong athlete and personal trainer and was always on the go.

As I got to know Brenda better, I met her husband Jim; her two sons, Trevor and Jarrett; and their two border collies, Ernie and Sunny. While Brenda was in remission, she kept pace with her two active sons and brought them to several TNT events.

In June 2006, Brenda found out that her cancer returned. This time, she would need a stem cell transplant from another person. Fortunately, a 9 of 10 donor match was found and Brenda received her transplant in September 2006.

I was able to spend a lot of time with Brenda while shuttling her back and forth to her various appointments at UCSF. When Brenda had to stay at UCSF for over a month, I was one of many visitors that she had. During our many talks, Brenda never had pity for herself. She always thought of others and made several friends on the hemotology ward. Patients and staff loved Brenda.

While recovering from her second stem cell transplant, Brenda faced many challenges. When she developed graft v. host disease, her lung capacity was reduced to 20% of normal. It was difficult for all of us to bear witness to her physical decline. However, her spirit was strong and remembering that strength inspires me to this day.

When the hospital discharged Brenda for the last time, she came to live with Lori and me. Brenda required 24/7 care and since both Lori and I work from home, we were able to have her stay with us. This was not an easy period for us and we came to rely on Brenda's loving circle of friends who would care for her in shifts. However, Brenda found it increasingly difficult to catch her breath, even with the oxygen machine turned on at full capacity. Ultimately, Brenda was transported to John Muir hospital and passed away on April 14, 2007 surrounded by her loving family and friends.

Brenda loved to blog on MySpace with the details of her day and made several friends online who also had their own battles with cancer. Two days before Brenda passed away, she posted this final entry:

"Through these years I have absolutely NO regrets. I worked hard and played even harder. I never said a swear word, always went to school on time, and won the PE award in high school. In fact, 3 days ago I just crawled up the stairs. And now, I'm back in bed still hooked up, still using a commode, and wearing a purple t-shirt that says (in orange writing) "freakishly strong" while covered with a wonderful TNT blanket that was knitted for me just weeks ago.

Now I peacefully await and end the battle that has attacked my 36-year-old body surrounded by my most beautiful family and friends. Surreal, but true, this is really happening.
We all wait. Me, my family and friends that are here now, and all of you. Even though you're not here with me physically (it would simply be impossible for all of you to fit in this room), I want you to know I feel you and know you're here. I love all of you.

Thank you for loving and supporting me. Please continue to pour it out on my three boys."

This upside down rainbow was seen the before Brenda passed.